I’ve always called myself lucky to have a name like Ware, for several reasons.

In the first place, it’s a nice short name, making it easy when filling out various forms, or papers. Just imagine when Benjamin Rothsenberger,

has to fill out something on about an atom’s worth of space!

Also, our version has only four letters, W, A, R, E. There are those that prefer to change the letters around, and ending up with something like, WEAR, WAER, etc. Some even prefer to add an extra e, as WEARE, or some version thereof.

Then, there is the smarty pants, that asks how I spell my name, and before I can answer, he says, “Is it WEIR, with or without the D?”

All I can do is to keep from reaching across the desk and slapping him!

Folks over the years have had their reasons for using the version they prefer, I suppose, and that’s OK. If it works for them, fine.

What befuddles me is, how can a simple name like Ware be so misconstrued?

Awhile back I had trouble with an account that insisted my name was WARG! An “act of Congress” got it corrected.

A statement from a contractor was made out to, Mr. Wir!

Another case it was, Warr!

Misspelling the name is one thing, but teasing about it is another!

I remember when I was in school, I would be teased with something like, “Hey, Silverware, Let’s play some ball!”

What that turkey didn’t know was, there happened to be a great orator

by the name of Sylvester Ware. He was the lead-in to the Lincoln-Douglas debates in the 1860s. Kinda like the prelims in boxing, warming up the crowd! It has been said, he could talk a sign post into changing direction!

He was known in the trade as, “Ol’ Silver-tongue Ware!” “Silverware” for short!  Not many folks know about that.

I answer when called “Hard Ware”, by telling about British Major General Hardwick Ware, from the Hertfordshire area, England, who after the British defeat, stayed in this country and opened a chain of stores, known then, as “GENERAL HARDWARE” stores. The forerunner of Home Depot, Lowe’s, and Ace Hardware.  Lay that one on them! Never let them out fox you!

What they got the biggest charge of, is calling me, “Under Ware!”

Made me SO MAD! Well, let them choke on this!

Colonel Pinkerton, of the famous Pinkerton Detective agency, had an agent on the payroll by the name of Underwood Ware. Yes, he did!

Underwood got all the toughest cases, because “Ol’ Undie,” as he was known, was the very best there ever was, at getting to the very bottom of things!

RW   7/12/10


THE WARE NAME — 2 Comments

  1. Oh Ray – I always get such a delight out of reading whatever you’ve written. You truly have a gift.
    I used to be a teacher and I was always stunned at the innovative and complicated ways some of the parents of my students would write my name. I thought “Ware” was about as simple as you could get! In just one year, I was Mrs. Weir, Mrs. Wier, Mrs. Warre, Mrs. Wayre, Mrs. Warr, Mrs. Wear, Mrs. Waer, and (don’t ask me how) Mrs. Weigher. Go figure.
    Thanks for always brightening my day,

  2. Ray, you outdid yourself. Being a WARE, I know most of those quips folks have put on us, but learned a few “come backs” here in your article. Thanks for writing these interesting articles about everyday happenings with a humorous twist. That rope twirling cowboy from Oklahoma had noting on you.

    Your friend and maybe distant relative,


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