Yard Sale

It’s getting on to summertime and yard sales will be all over the place. Every neighborhood around will be swapping each other’s stuff. It’s really a crazy time of the year!

This Ware house is no different. Going to get rich from selling our old, no longer useful things! Good luck!


I was strolling through the house one day, admiring all our stuff,

The “nicky knacks”, worn out shoes, and all that useless fluff.

There were glasses, china plates, and Bobby’s old toy trucks.

“A yard sale,” she said, “And we’ll make a million bucks”!

We took our old card tables, two saw horses and some boards.

We covered them with plastic sheets and waited for the hordes!

We made some “YARD SALE” signs, put them  along the road,

Never giving the slightest thought of messing with the code!

It took us most all morning just to display all our things.

Then we all sat back and waited, for what the morning brings.

Our neighbors all showed up, none ever spent a dime,

All we got was conversation, and we lost a lot of time!

Here it is, mid afternoon, we haven’t moved a thing.

By now all hope is dashed for what this day should bring!

Two hours it took to bring it out, two more to bring it in!

Whoever thought this yard sale up, should be guilty of a sin!

Just two more trips to go, and we’ll have it all cleaned up.

A stack of books, a curling iron, an autographed NASCAR cup!

About this time a car pulled up, a uniformed man got out!

Considering the events of the day, what could this be all about!

We made our howdy, then he asked, “Who might the owner be!”

With shifting feet and quaking knees, I answered, “Sir, It’s me!”

A yard sale permit was needed, an item I had overlooked!

Thirty days or pay a fine, it seems my goose is cooked!

A hundred dollar yard sale, man, now there goes all our stash!

Had I purchased the right permit, I’d have saved a lot of cash!

I gave the man the money, got a receipt marked “PAID IN FULL!”

Then I turned away mumbling, something about a bull!

I thought I was through, you know, but that was not the case.

I turned to see the trooper, a smile upon his face!

“Those Yard Sale signs you first put out, I’m sorry to have to say,

EPA calls it littering and for that, big boy, you pay!”

That cost two hundred dollars just to keep me out of jail!

I went on and paid it, with a sigh, a weep and wail,

Because, I knew if I didn’t, I could never make the bail!

Should I ever to a hundred be, not another dern YARD SALE!

We put all our old trash back, and there I hope it’ll stay,

And we can look back upon it, and remember this horrible day.

At least some trash got tossed away, and some was even dusted.

Three hundred bucks, and one bad day, I’m financially “busted!”:

Should the yard sale bug strike again, I’ve got it all planed out!

The Goodwill folks will take it all, of that there is no doubt!

They can make the money, and with that I am fine,

I won’t need to concern myself with hundred dollar signs!




Yard Sale — 4 Comments

  1. Good job pop.
    I knew you had a lot of unusual stuf in you.
    I’m glad that you are able to bless others with your wit.

    Love Ya,

  2. This poem says it all. It’s an example of Murphy’s Law if I ever saw one. We’ve never had a garage sale and by all indications, we never will. Thank you for a good laugh.

    Wayne Ware

  3. Raymond -I absolutely LOVE this!!! It rings so true and reflects many a garage sale I’ve done. I laughed til my sides hurt. Thank you for a delightful piece – you TRULY have a wonderful gift with words!!!
    Have a great day and thank you for adding a smile to mine –
    Judy Ware

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